Wilson: I used to fall asleep crying at night, and even thought of committing suicide when I was 12 or 13 years old.

May 27th According to the Daily Mail, Callum Wilson talked about topics such as his childhood in an interview.

According to Wilson, he had suicidal thoughts at the age of 12 and recently sought psychotherapy to overcome the shadow of his childhood. Wilson grew up in a government house in Coventry and was the eldest of six children, but he also spent time in foster care and safe houses due to his mother's domestic violence.

Wilson said: "I used to fall asleep crying at night, and when I was 12 or 13, I even had the idea of ​​suicide. I prayed to God that he could save me from that environment, and I wanted to be a football player. I was too young to think that life shouldn't be the only one. We lived in a three-bedroom government house with food scarce. After foster care, safe houses and local churches, and domestic violence at home, a lot of things happened. Looking back now, I never wanted my kids to go through something like that. Football is really my savior, it allowed me to escape those difficulties."

Wilson started his career in Coventry, then played for Bournemouth and moved to Newcastle in 2020. The 33-year-old will end his contract with St James Park next month, having made nine appearances for the England national team and participated in the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. A year ago, after a dispute with a physical therapist in Newcastle, Wilson decided to see a psychologist. The physiotherapist noticed his mood changes, and Wilson admitted that he felt "relieved" after his first psychotherapy.

When talking about this topic, Wilson said: "When football and life are going well, you can put these things behind you, but over the past 18 months, I have experienced a series of setbacks, and all kinds of problems piled up and ended up being uncontrollable. I feel like I need to seek psychotherapy. I started to go on the wrong path, such as gambling and other minor problems, and I don't want to be like that, so I need professional help. Taking the courage to face these problems, even if it's just talking to a psychologist, has helped me a lot.

"When I started to talk and reveal everything I've been through in my life, my wife said, 'Wow, why haven't you been to see a psychologist yet? ’ I would talk to my wife about these issues, but I don’t want to blur the lines between us. She is not my psychologist, but my wife and mother of the children, so I don't want her to take on my problems. You do feel a relief after talking to a psychologist, which is an investment in yourself and is definitely worth it. I may be understanding some of my own small characteristics now, which are obviously triggered by my childhood experience. ”

In Newcastle's last game of the season, Wilson came on as the bench and the team lost 0-1 to Everton. He burst into tears after the game and waved goodbye to fans as he circled around the court alone. Wilson only started two games in the Premier League throughout the season, while Newcastle ended up fifth in the Champions League qualification. Wilson was allowed to play as a substitute due to Isaac's presence. In March, Newcastle's fight He also came on the bench in the second half in the win against Liverpool. His only goal of the season was in the FA Cup match against Birmingham in February.

Currently, Newcastle decided not to extend Wilson's contract, but the two sides are discussing an incentive-based agreement.

Speaking about this, Wilson said: "Economically, I'm stable, so it's not a question I need to go back to the past. I know I can still provide life security for my family. I know my worth and still feel full of desire when I see the roster, I still feel frustrated because I'm not in the starting lineup. I know I don't want to leave football yet, and I want to leave before football leaves me. I've been healthy for four and a half months, but if you only played 250 to 300 minutes in total, it's really frustrating because you don't want the last few years of your career to go away like this, especially if you put in a huge effort for it. But now I just enjoy life, enjoy football, play football with a smile, and let it go. ”